There Are Two Things Oscar Wilde Likes: Wordplay and Men
The Victorian Age is defined as the period during which Queen Victoria ruled: 1837-1901. In 1890, Oscar Wilde published The Picture of Dorian Gray, the novel our English class is currently reading.
As anyone who has read the book knows, it is not very subtle in its… suggestions. It kinda sorta got Oscar Wilde put in jail for homosexuality. It contains phrases such as “I wish he would play with me” and “we was meant to be worshiped” in the original, and even after editing, it includes phrases like “blood pulsing to all parts of the body” and the “stirring” of other portions.
I flash back to The Vampyre, as we are reading actual Victorian porn.
An Obnoxious Rebuttal That Will Either Quell or Infuriate
I hate venting on these things, because frankly, nobody cares. However, this is an issue that has been resurfacing all year and it needs to end. This post explains my point of view and how the X-Files is just a show, not some sort of plot to murder two of my best friends.
We watched the show during the summer. We called the other two to do something, but they were busy, had homework, etc. But that’s not the problem, its what came after. I did not expect it to balloon like this, but it did. Here’s the thing: I’m not a die-hard, ZOMG WE NEED TO WATCH fan.
Every Friday is when we watch the show. Sometimes we do it elsewhere to make up for the week, but 90% of the time it is on a Friday. You know this, we have said it, but we are not bound. If there are actual plans for a Friday, an adventure or something, I prefer to hang out with all 5 of us rather than just 3 in a basement. However, torquent and I usually get stuck organizing. Almost always. Make plans, we will join, but please don’t get angry if we wish to continue watching a show.
Yet again, that is not what prompted this message. It was the use of the word “bullshit”. I cannot recall a time I have snuck around or lied to you two. I probably have at some point, but I highly doubt about X-Files. If this all bubbled up because of last night, when you two were gone and I had no idea you when you were returning, I’m sorry if not calling you when I thought you were out of town counts as bullshit. I’m not going to hound facebook or tumblr to find out when you’re home. Tell us when you’ve returned, and you are free to join us. Tell us when you plan on coming back and you are free to join us. Tell us your schedule before you leave, and you are free to join us. Not saying anything until the night after you’ve come back and saying we’ve been sneaking around your backs is not the way to do it. (NOTE: If it is not about last night, ignore that part. I’m just trying to figure out why this is happening again NOW)
This is not supposed to be a fight. Rereading this, it makes me seem a lot angrier than I actually am. I don’t really care that much, I just don’t want you two to be mad at me and accuse me of lying.
So as much as I want to answer this as “Elvis impersonating” or “fire juggling”, I do not actually possess any of these talents. I do, however, possess the talent of humour… and using British spelling.
Yes, this sounds egotistical, but this is an egotistical question. So yeah. I do improv, sketch, stand-up and just general harassment of those surrounding me.
But, just a tip, never tell people that kind of thing. It creates an instant expectation and pressure. Alternatively, never tell someone to ”say something funny!”. It doesn’t work like that. We are not your monkeys… until we feel like it.
And just for fun, “Off-colour humour at the theatre”.